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Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

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Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Kamaji on Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:26 am

Okay, Tardis, old buddy, here is your training topic Smile I'm not going to bore you about how to use a forum cause I know you do. This is to help with your RP posts when you need to. Looking at your last RP post below...:

@Tardis wrote:
I pad into the area and sniffed the air. My nose twitched at the smell of two others. I glade through the shadows despite the bulk of my form. This was a new land, and truth be told, I had no idea how I came here. Everything seemed to have shrunk, but there were still prey and forests, so I suppose I can't complain. I stop under a tree and stretched out. The ground felt the same, if not as sandy as where I came from. Not far away were two small wolves, I watched them, and wondered if they would be afraid if I approached them.


It's just which tense you put words in. The bold words are the errors that need fixing. Otherwise it's pretty good, nothing major. I did not know you did first person...Anyways XD Just edit the bolded in a new post and remember that when you are speaking in the present tense of something both verbs need to be in present tense(In this case anyhow).
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Kamaji

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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Tardis on Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:08 am

Lols cut me some slack. I was sneaking it in haha. And really? I so do first person lols. I like to switch back and forth.

I padded into the area and sniffed the air. My nose twitched at the smell of two others. I glided through the shadows despite the bulk of my form. This was a new land, and truth be told, I had no idea how I came here. Everything seemed to have shrunk, but there were still prey and forests, so I suppose I can't complain. I stopped under a tree and stretched out. The ground felt the same, if not as sandy as where I came from. Not far away were two small wolves, I watched them, and wondered if they would be afraid if I approached them.


Think I caught everything. And lols please don't tell me this is grammar school
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Kamaji on Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:41 am

Stick to 100 word posts and your all good Smile
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Tardis on Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:59 am

Seeing that no one moved, or even noticed me, I stood stretched, then made my way slowly towards the two tiny wolves. I wondered vaguely what happened to the world to make everything smaller. Perhaps I've just grown But no, if I had, then I'd know. I'd felt my bones lengthening and my body getting bigger. No, something had happened to the world to change everything. I stepped from the shadows and moved closer to the two tiny wolves. "Hello," I said softly. I definitely missed my pack, but since they are no where in sight, since I had a sneaking suspicion I was somehow moved across space and time, whether by purpose or accident, there would be no going back. Maybe later, I could back track and see if i could return home.
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Kamaji on Tue Feb 03, 2015 11:28 pm

It looks good! Some capitals where they don't belong but I think your all good Very Happy Still want to continue training?
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Tardis on Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:09 am

Ahem, you are the teacher lols
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Kamaji on Wed Feb 04, 2015 6:43 pm

Lol alright then we can keep this open for good use XD Perhaps put an RP post here every now and then and I can evaluate it Smile
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Re: Tardis' RP Training - Mentor: Kamaji

Post  Tardis on Thu Feb 05, 2015 6:53 am

Ridio ;P that sounds good.
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